When the Scales Mess With Your Head: A Perimenopause Weight, Hunger and Self-Kindness Story

Today I want to share something personal with you, because I think a lot of you will recognise yourselves in it.

I hesitated before writing this. It talks about weight, losing weight and the scales. I know that for many women, especially in perimenopause, those topics can be loaded, emotional, and sometimes triggering. If this feels like something you would rather not read today, that is completely okay. Please look after yourself first.

I’m sharing this not to promote weight loss, dieting, or body dissatisfaction, but because I know how common these thoughts are in midlife and because I want to remind you that even those of us who “know better” are still human. So, this is my story about how the scales mess with your head.

When the scales came back into my life

On the 1st of January, I did something I don’t usually do. I stepped on the scales.

Not because it was a new year and I wanted a new me. I’ve finally learnt not to buy into that rubbish anymore. But because I knew I had gained weight, and I wanted a starting point.

Before I stepped on the sad step, I made a promise to myself. I would not weigh myself weekly. I would maybe weigh myself again on the 1st of February. No obsession, no spiralling, just information. When I saw the number, I felt… neutral. Or at least I told myself I did.

I carried on eating the way I normally eat as I do practise what I preach. But I did decide to be a little more mindful of my portion sizes. As a Registered Nutritional Therapist, I do not support restrictive diets or obsessive calorie counting. I have seen first-hand how damaging that road can be.

However, I am also evidence-based and I know that a small calorie deficit is part of weight loss physiology. So, my approach was gentle and grounded:

• slightly smaller portions

• around 30g of protein per meal

• more fibre (because December had not been fibre-forward)

• and getting back into my exercise routine after the school holidays

As you can see this is nothing extreme, dramatic or punishing.

The quiet voice in the background

This is where things shifted.

I told myself I felt neutral about the number on the scales. But the truth is, that number started whispering in the background of my mind.

• It commented on my meals.

• It judged my snacks.

• It sat with me when I ate.

And at the same time, I was being hit with the usual January noise.

• This supplement will fix your hormones.

• This supplement will melt cortisol fat.

• This injection will make you skinny.

• This programme will finally make you disciplined.

For the record, cortisol fat is not a thing, it is more nuanced and involves so many variables and the research doesn’t support this claim but that doesn’t stop the marketing.

Add into that my own negative thinking, and suddenly I found myself right back in a familiar headspace. Questioning my body, my choices and myself.

Despite eating balanced meals with protein, carbs, fats and fibre, I was still hungry and never felt satisfied. I went to bed slightly hungry and woke up ravenous and food was constantly on my mind. This week, it finally clicked, I am hungry because I am not eating enough.

My physical activity has increased, I’ve started running again three times a week. I’m lifting weights and I move a lot during the day. That is a significant energy demand and I was not fuelling myself properly. No wonder my body was shouting and food felt loud. Signals such as cravings and hunger is information from my body.

The part where I felt a bit silly

Here’s the part where I felt a bit ridiculous. I am a Registered Nutritional Therapist. I have a Nutritional Science degree. You would think I would spot this instantly. However, I am also human. We are allowed to miss things, are allowed to doubt ourselves and it is okay to feel disappointed when their body doesn’t feel like their body anymore.

I can hold professional knowledge and personal vulnerability at the same time. Both are true.

Why I’m really sharing this

I’m sharing this because I realised I had stopped taking my own advice.

• I had forgotten self-kindness.

• I had forgotten acceptance.

• I had let the scales lead my thinking.

I had also forgotten that health is not a number. Yes, my body has changed, I am 47, not 27 so I have gained weight but I also feel fitter, stronger, more capable and can lift heavier weights and I feel proud of myself. This matters and yet, my focus had narrowed onto one single measurement.

The reminder I needed, and maybe you do too

So I want to gently remind you of a few things, because I needed to hear them myself.

• Your worth is not defined by a number on a scale.

• Health is not just weight loss.

• You cannot bully yourself into being healthier.

• Small, consistent changes are the ones that last.

• It is okay to take your time.

• This is not a straight-line journey.

• And comparison is not motivation, it is erosion.

If a social media account makes you feel less than, you are allowed to block it. If an advert tells you it can fix you, you are allowed to click “not interested”. Follow accounts that make you feel steadier, calmer, kinder towards yourself.

Perimenopause changes the rules

One of the hardest parts of perimenopause is that the rules you used to rely on stop working the same way.

• Your appetite changes.

• Your body composition shifts.

• Your hunger cues feel different.

• Your energy fluctuates.

• Your confidence wobbles.

And yet, the world still speaks to you like you are 25. No wonder it feels confusing and frustrating and so many women feel like they are failing, when in reality their body is just changing.

Where I am landing now

I am not giving up on caring for my health but I am giving up on criticising my body into submission, I am choosing to eat enough so body has the right fuel, to ignore messages that don’t align with my values and I am choosing to remind myself that my body is not broken, it is simply in a different season.

If you are reading this and nodding

If any part of this story feels familiar, please know you are not alone.

If you would like support from someone who truly gets it, not from a place of perfection, but from lived experience and compassion, I would love to support you. I’m hosting a free online talk:

Why Nothing Feels Balanced in Perimenopause: What Blood Sugar Has to Do With It

📍 On Zoom

📅 Wednesday 4 February

⏰ 8pm

We’ll talk about why energy, mood, cravings and hunger feel so unpredictable in perimenopause, and what actually helps, without dieting, guilt or extremes.

You can book your free place here. I would love to see you there.