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  • Writer's pictureJo Leccacorvi

The five perimenopause symptoms no one ever talks about

Do you feel like your body has decided to throw a midlife party and invited symptoms you never knew existed? Here are five symptoms related to perimenopause that no one ever talks about. Why is that, seriously, why?


1.       Heavy Periods: The Red-Carpet Extravaganza

Step aside, Hollywood awards season – perimenopause brings you the Heavy Periods Red Carpet Extravaganza! Embrace those unexpected visits from Aunt Flo with a grace that rivals a celebrity stumble. Just be sure to carry a bag big enough to carry spare period underwear, an extra menstrual cup and baby wipes for the inevitable clean up.


2.       Lightening Crotch: A Shocking Twist

Forget about electric cars; perimenopause introduces you to the latest in discomfort – the Lightening Crotch! It's like your body's way of saying, "Surprise!" You never know when or where it'll strike, but rest assured, you will absolutely feel it in your vagina and it will radiate to your backside.


3.       Body Odour: Eau de Midlife

Say hello to your new signature scent, Eau de Midlife! Those hormonal changes aren't just internal; they're also turning your body into a fragrant potpourri of unpredictability. Perfume? Who needs it when you've got the natural bouquet of perimenopause?


4.       Cold Flushes: Is Elsa knocking on your door?

Picture this, your face is poker hot and as red as a beetroot, but the rest of your body feels like it been attached by Elsa the ice Queen. It’s like your body can’t decide whether it’s on holiday in the tropics or stuck in the Arctic.


5.       Rage: The Incredible Hulk Has Nothing on You

Anger management classes, anyone? Perimenopause introduces you to your inner superhero – The Furious Menopausal Marvel! Your newfound ability to unleash rage at the drop of a hat will leave you wondering where the hell did that come from? Seriously though, why do our moods go from nought to one hundred in less than sixty seconds?


Perimenopause is the gift that keeps on giving, wrapped in the most unpredictable way. If you would like some support with your perimenopause symptoms, click here to book in a free chat with me.

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