How to Shift Your Mindset in Perimenopause

Last week, I wrote about the need for a mindset shift when it comes to perimenopause. I shared how perimenopause has affected me personally and how an unexpected trigger—stepping on the scales (AKA the sad step)—sent me into a bit of a spiral.

But I know I’m not alone in this. Many women experience similar moments—seeing an unflattering photo, noticing body changes, or feeling out of control with their emotions. These moments can bring up old insecurities, and our first instinct is often self-criticism.

That’s exactly what happened to me this week when someone took a candid photo of me from an awkward angle. My immediate reaction was to ask them to delete it. But then I stopped myself. That moment captured something real—me, engaged in a conversation, listening to another woman share her wisdom. Why should I erase that?

If any of this resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. We can be so hard on ourselves, holding onto unrealistic standards and negative self-talk. That’s why shifting our mindset is so important—it’s about moving away from self-judgment and towards self-compassion.

Why Mindset Matters in Perimenopause

A mindset shift doesn’t happen overnight, and there’s no quick fix. It’s a long-term process, but it’s one worth committing to. I’ve learned that when I actively work on my mindset, I feel better—not just emotionally but physically, too. When I don’t, my perimenopause symptoms feel worse, and my mental health takes a hit.

Here are some of the tools that have helped me shift my mindset away from self-criticism and towards self-compassion:

• Talking to a trusted person about what I’m experiencing

• Therapy

• Naming my negative voice (mine is called "neggy nora"—deliberately not capitalised!)

• Positive affirmations

• Journaling

• Meditation

• Breathwork

• Mindfulness

• Reiki

• Exercise: walking, Pilates, and weight training

This might look like a long list, but here’s the truth—I don’t do all of these things every day. Like you, I have a busy life, and some days, self-care feels impossible. But I also know that when I make time for even a few of these things, I feel more grounded, less anxious, and better able to handle the ups and downs of perimenopause.

How to Make a Mindset Shift Work for You

Shifting your mindset isn’t about adding more things to your to-do list. It’s about finding small, simple ways to support yourself that feel manageable. Below are some of the tools that have worked for me—you don’t have to do them all. Instead, see what speaks to you and start with just one or two.

1. Talking to Someone You Trust

Opening up about what you’re going through can be powerful. Whether it’s a partner, friend, or a group of like-minded women, having support can help you feel less alone.

How to start: Choose one person and share what you’re feeling. Let them know how they can best support you.

2. Therapy

If negative self-talk and old patterns are hard to shift on your own, therapy can help. A professional can give you the tools to reframe your thoughts in a healthier way.

How to start: Research therapists who specialise in women’s health or perimenopause. Many offer free discovery calls.

3. Naming Your Negative Voice

Giving your inner critic a name helps you separate it from who you really are. It’s a way to remind yourself that those thoughts aren’t facts.

How to start: The next time you catch yourself thinking negatively, name that voice. Acknowledge it, then choose a kinder thought.

4. Positive Affirmations

Affirmations can feel awkward at first, but they help rewire your brain over time.

How to start: Choose a simple affirmation like I am worthy as I am and repeat it daily—write it on a sticky note, say it in the mirror, or keep it in your phone.

5. Journaling

Writing down your thoughts can bring clarity and help you break negative thought patterns.

How to start: Each day, write one thing you appreciate about yourself or one small win from the day or simply write down the thoughts that are swirling around in your head.

6. Meditation

Meditation can help quiet a racing mind and bring a sense of calm.

How to start: Try a simple five-minute guided meditation using an app like Insight Timer or Headspace.

7. Breathwork

Controlled breathing can regulate your nervous system and stop anxious spirals in their tracks.

How to start: When you feel overwhelmed, try the 4-4-4 breath: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four.

8. Mindfulness

Bringing awareness to the present moment can help you break cycles of negative thinking.

How to start: Choose one daily activity to do mindfully—whether it’s drinking coffee, taking a shower, or going for a walk.

9. Reiki

Energy healing like Reiki can help with emotional balance and stress relief.

How to start: Find a local practitioner or try a guided Reiki meditation on YouTube.

10. Exercise (Walking, Pilates, and Weight Training)

Moving your body isn’t just good for physical health—it helps with mood, stress, and hormone balance.

How to start: Choose one type of movement that you enjoy and commit to doing it twice a week.

How to Turn One of These into a Lasting Habit

If this list feels overwhelming, don’t worry—you don’t need to do it all at once. The key to making a mindset shift stick is starting small and building gradually. Let’s take journaling as an example and break it down into a step-by-step process.

Step 1: Start Small (Twice a Week)

For the first two weeks, aim to journal just twice a week. Choose a time—before bed, with your morning coffee—and keep it simple. Write down one thing you appreciate about yourself or one small win from your day.

Step 2: Create a Trigger (Weeks 3-4)

To make journaling a habit, link it to something you already do. For example, place your journal next to your toothbrush so you remember to write when you brush your teeth.

Step 3: Increase Frequency Gradually (Weeks 5-6)

Once journaling twice a week feels natural, add another day. Keep it light—this isn’t about perfection, just consistency.

Step 4: Make It Your Own (Beyond 6 Weeks)

Adjust the habit to fit your needs. If writing feels like a chore, switch to voice notes or use a journaling app. The key is consistency, not the format.

Final Thoughts

Mindset shifts don’t happen overnight, but small, consistent changes add up over time. Start with one or two tools that resonate with you and build from there. Above all, be kind to yourself. You deserve to feel good—not just on the good days, but on the tough ones too.

Which of these tools feels most doable for you? Let me know in the comments—what’s one small step you can take today to start shifting your mindset?