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Writer's pictureJo Leccacorvi

Navigating irritability during perimenopause: finding your calm in the storm

Perimenopause marks the transitional period leading up to menopause, typically beginning in a woman's 40s, though it can start earlier or later. This phase brings significant hormonal fluctuations that can trigger a range of physical and emotional symptoms, with irritability often being one of the most challenging to handle. If you find yourself with a "short wick" or constantly "fuming," you’re not alone. Many women in this stage experience heightened sensitivity and mood swings that can make even minor irritations feel overwhelming.




 

Can you relate to any of the points below:

 

The Short Wick Syndrome

During perimenopause, many women experience what can be termed as "short wick syndrome." This means that it takes very little to ignite feelings of anger or frustration. Something that wouldn’t have bothered you before might now send you into a tailspin. Your emotional responses can become more intense and more immediate, making it feel like you’re constantly on edge.

 

Everything Gets on My Wick

Perimenopause can amplify everyday annoyances to the point where it feels like everything "gets on my wick." This phrase perfectly captures the sense of pervasive irritation that can make normal interactions and daily tasks seem intolerable.

 

PMS on Steroids

If you've ever dealt with PMS, you know it can bring mood swings and irritability. During perimenopause, this can feel like PMS on overdrive. The hormonal changes that occur can make irritability a constant rather than an occasional issue, and you might feel like your irritability is off the scale.

 

Fuming Over Little Things

In this phase, you might find yourself "fuming" over minor issues. Things that you once took in stride now seem to provoke intense emotional reactions. It can be baffling to those around you and even to yourself.

 

Tearful and Irritable

A common sentiment among perimenopausal women is, "I feel so irritable it makes me tearful." The frustration can build up to the point where it spills over into tears, making you feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

 

Self-Doubt and Social Strain

The persistent irritability can lead to self-doubt. "I am sure I’m not a nice person to be around" is a thought that can cross your mind frequently. This can strain your relationships with loved ones, friends, and colleagues, as your tolerance for others has disappeared.

 

Workplace Challenges

Perimenopausal irritability doesn’t just stay at home. Many women find that they have "no patience for work colleagues," making professional interactions feel strained and challenging. This can affect your performance and relationships at work.

 

Constant Annoyance

It can feel like "everyone irritates me" during this time. This pervasive sense of irritation can make social interactions feel like a burden and lead to feelings of isolation. #### Hormonal Helplessness Feeling "fed up of being at the mercy of my hormones" is common. The sense that your emotions are out of your control due to hormonal changes can be incredibly frustrating and disempowering.

 

Always Raging

"I feel like I’m raging all the time" is a powerful and exhausting state to be in. The constant anger and irritability can wear you down, making it difficult to find joy or relaxation.

 

Strategies for Managing Irritability

Despite the challenges, there are effective strategies you can adopt to manage irritability during perimenopause. Here are some practical tips to help you regain a sense of balance and calm.

 

1. Acknowledge Your Emotions

Recognising and accepting that your irritability is a normal part of perimenopause can help reduce feelings of guilt or frustration. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your experiences to get support and perspective.

 

2. Exercise Regularly

Physical activity is a great way to release pent-up frustration and improve your mood. Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. Even a daily walk can make a significant difference.

 

3. Maintain a Healthy Diet

Eating a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains can help stabilise your mood. Avoid excessive caffeine and sugar, which may exacerbate irritability.

 

4. Prioritise Sleep

Ensure you get enough rest, as lack of sleep can worsen irritability and emotional instability. Create a calming bedtime routine to improve your sleep quality.

 

5. Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

  • Meditation: Mindfulness meditation can help you stay grounded and manage your emotional responses more effectively.

  • Deep Breathing: Simple deep breathing exercises can calm your mind and reduce stress levels.

  • Yoga: Yoga combines physical exercise with mindfulness, which can improve both your physical and emotional well-being.

 

6. Seek Professional Support

  • Therapy: Therapy can help you develop coping strategies for managing stress and irritability.

  • Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT): For some women, HRT can help balance hormonal fluctuations and reduce irritability. Consult with your healthcare provider to see if this option is suitable for you.

 

7. Set Boundaries and Communicate

  • Prioritise Self-Care: Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Setting aside "me time" can help replenish your energy and improve your mood.

  • Communicate Your Needs: Let those around you know how you're feeling and what you need. Clear communication can reduce misunderstandings and foster support.


 8. Identify and Manage Triggers

  • Keep a Journal: Documenting your feelings and experiences can help you identify patterns and triggers of irritability. This awareness can empower you to make proactive changes.

  • Avoid Known Stressors: Once you identify what triggers your irritability, take steps to minimise or avoid these situations when possible.

 

9. Engage in Relaxing Activities

  • Hobbies: Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing, whether it’s reading, gardening, painting, or anything else that helps you unwind.

  • Social Connections: Maintain social connections with friends and family. Positive social interactions can improve your mood and provide a support network.

 

10. Practice Gratitude

Focusing on positive aspects of your life and practicing gratitude can shift your mindset and improve your overall mood. Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of the good things in your life.

 

Embracing Change with Compassion

Perimenopause is a significant transitional phase that brings about a variety of physical and emotional changes. While irritability can be one of the more challenging symptoms to handle, understanding its root causes and implementing practical strategies can help you regain a sense of control and improve your quality of life. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Many women experience similar challenges during perimenopause. By seeking support, practicing self-care, and making mindful adjustments to your lifestyle, you can navigate this transition with greater ease and find moments of calm amidst the storm. Embrace this time of change with compassion for yourself and patience as you discover new ways to manage and thrive. If you would like to feel listened to and heard, book in for a free, no obligation chat with me. Click here to book.

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